A few days away

I've just been on 4 day health and safety course which is basically a overview of the laws and responsibilities of people in the workplace to scare you to death. It was heavy going and full of acronyms and stuff you have no hope of remembering, followed by a test which meant revising up in your hotel room. The test sent back to teacher head office for marking and then she hands out a project which you must complete within 2 weeks, so that's part of my weekend gone.

The course run at Telford was 12 of my fellow employees, of whom all but me and one other where managers, all put up by our company in swanky hotel, well swanky by my standards.

I think I may have put on a stone with food since I had a big bowl of chopped melon and strawberries followed by toast, and full English breakfast, we then had a 3 course evening meals every night which meant I had to try all the posh deserts Pear brulee with raspberries and red currents, White chocolate fondant and Amaretto ice cream, mixture of 3 home made ice creams and cheese board the size of car wheel. Just to round my belly off, we had a ten pound a night wine and beer allowance, enough snacks and sandwiches at lunch for 30 people and tubs of sweets on each of the tables in the lecture room.

What I want to know is why they changed the bar of soap I used every morning for totally new one when I had barely used it, why one tap turned anticlockwise and the other clockwise and why you needed a degree in pipework to operate the shower controls.